T Minus 40: It’s Worth a Shot…

Dear Japan,

Konnichiwa! I’m hoping you guys can help me out with something. I know that Nintendo is set to release it’s mini version of the classic NES console for sale on November 11th of this year, just in time for the holiday shopping season. (Great plan on their part by the way.) Unfortunately, I’m not having much luck getting a response from the folks over there. They’re probably just really busy being freaking awesome, so I thought I’d reach out.

Thing is, I was absolutely THE LAST of my friends to get the original NES Action Set that they released in 1988. Everyone got it for Christmas that year. You want to know when I got it? Christmas of 1989! Those were the longest 365 days of my life. Everyone kept talking about saving the Princess and I didn’t even know who the hell the Princess was. The worst part was when I would get invited to my friend Chrissy’s house (who goes by Christina now that we’re grown ups) to play and I’d have no clue what I was doing. So, I’d play Super Mario for like 10 minutes before being killed off and then have to sit there and watch her ace the whole game. I believe I gained a lot of pre-adolescent weight in this way since my hands were free to eat snacks. Seriously, my face got super pudgy around that time.

Apologies for my digression. I’ll get to my point so that I don’t take up too much of your valuable time (I know you’ve got that North Korea thing going on). My birthday is next Thursday and it’s a big one – 40. I know, I know, I don’t look it – thanks guys. Anyway, It sure would be nice to be the first of my friends to get this new console. I honestly wish I’d never given the old one away. Kids today don’t appreciate these things. Do you think, maybe, you could pull some strings with the good folks over at Nintendo and get one shipped here to upstate New York in advance? I would be forever grateful and would gladly pay any additional shipping fees (even though it is my birthday and I kinda feel like you could front that cost seeing as you’re a whole country, but whatever). It would just really make me feel better about getting “old”, ya know? I know 40 doesn’t seem old to you all because your country has the highest percentage of elderly citizens in the world, but in America 40 is a rough age.

I promise to visit more often and I know I said that after I spent that four hour layover in Narita Airport back in ’88, but this time I mean it. I plan to travel more in my 40s – right after I re-learn how to save the Princess. Please let me know what you come up with and if you get those Nintendo guys on the phone, tell them I’ve been looking for them.

All the Best.

Domo arigato gozaimasu!



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